Beloved Nana,
I am at a loss.
The reason for the loss I feel is not simply your passing from the desert of life. No, it is because of your will—the great will that tamed death itself. That is what I grieve: the absence of such a force.
I am sorry I didn’t talk. But I had no time. The reason wasn’t time alone; it was my own struggle with the concept of time, my inability to hold it, shape it, give it. So I promise you this, my beloved Nana: I will turn the sand of time into the blood of my veins. I will carry you forward in how I live.
For I didn’t lose you. I lost an idol—a will that conquers death. And that is a different kind of sorrow.
I congratulate you on your passing from the desert of life. I hope you are having joy in the next part of the journey, wherever it may be.
Give a kiss to Mom from me.
With all my love,
Your grandchild the last
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